Test Drive Unlimited 2
Developer: Eden Games
Release Date: February 8, 2011
Platforms: Playstation 3, Xbox 360, PC
ESRB: T - Teen
Test Drive Unlimited 2 has made me realize that not all racing games have to
be good to be released in stores. I mean this pile of shit, Test Drive Unlimited
2, is so goddamn terrible but it managed to get a price tag and thrown on
shelves. But hey enough with the typical ramblings on why the game is so bad in
the opening paragraph, let’s start our engines and move forward.
Today is your birthday, well today is your birthday after you pick one of the
few characters aloud to in the game. Now that you picked that character it is
your birthday and some random chick is giving you a birthday present, a brand
new car. It turns out this was a dream (thank fucking God) and your character is
actually a parking attendant who is in the middle of a job, sleeping like a
Instead of losing your job the chick from your dream, who is the owner of the
car you were sleeping in, will give you a second chance and a spot in the Solar
Crown racing tournament if you can get her to her destination on time. Talk
about being in the right place at the right time and doing your job wrong. Guess
Atari is teaching us being a failure at your job will just reward you, since you
get money too to buy a car for the tournament, a house, and a device attached to
your car so you get money while dodging cards, making jumps, and other crazy
things with your car. Praise failures!!!
The gameplay is supposed to be like every other racing game. The biggest issue
to me as to be the car mechanics, they suck. If you try to turn too hard your
car will go all this way and that way. This turns out to be a problem…actually a
huge problem because if you go outside of the race track/street your penalty
meter starts to build up. Every second out of bounds will penalize you at the
end of the race, which adds up big time. Here is a perfect situation how Test
Drive Unlimited 2’s controls fuck you over.
While driving in the rain I tried to make a simple turn however it wasn’t so
simple since the game goes in extreme ape shit mode and my car went right into
some random house’s backyard. I got penalized for going into the backyard and
then while trying to back out I kept getting penalized even more. This was such
a problem since driving in the rain is like signing your own death warrant.
After it was all said and done I got penalized over a minute, making me lose my
challenge and causing extreme hatred towards Atari and everything they ever
Shit like this happens way too often. But to make matters even worse, if that
was possible, the challenges from your AI opponents are lacking. Events within
this whole big tournament are too similar right from the start and it starts to
get boring real fast. I could care less if I get to a high speed for money just
so I can own more cars and a nicer place to live it. Not worth it since all of
the cars seem to drive just as bad and owning a new place just makes you want to
play the other portion of the game…
The Sim-like features in this game are mediocre at best. Pick from some
different emotions both on and offline to…I don’t know. I really thought this
part of the game would have been better just so I’d want to race more to get the
most from the game. I’d have to say the Sim part of the game is only enjoyable
online and not during the campaign.
Test Drive Unlimited 2 has some pretty crummy graphics for a game to come out in
2011. Character models look like they were beaten with a stiff piece of wood and
the women characters, talk about funny shit here. I couldn’t help but notice how
the women’s boobs move in weird motions in a certain radius only. Trust me it is
Some of the details in the game are pretty weak too, along with the rain
effects. The detail factor can be seen at its best with the damage on vehicles.
Talk about rubbish on the side of the car, the car damage is a joke. There are
times when the car will all of the sudden will be brand new and I think that
occurs since the game forgets where the “damage” is. Why did I put damage in
quotes? Because, the damage looks like shit on graphics that are not going to
win any awards in this life time.
Oh and the games music? Let’s just say it was not anything that made me want to
drive a car. It sounded like to me grandma and grandpa want to be cool so they
put on some bullshit music to please the younger crowd. I’m not pleased and I
sure in hell was not pleased with the dialogue in the game. Were these actors
told to sound as stiff as their counterparts? If they were then A+ but if not
then Atari needs to get their money back.
The only thing that can remotely save this game has to be the online play. I
really hate the game mechanics and the Sim-like aspects to this game, but for
some reason doing it online with friends, and in co-op play, makes things
better. I mean bitching to somebody else how bad this game is can be relaxing.
Just such a goddamn shame that the Atari servers never want to stay up for a
full day, well it seems like that to me.
Trying to compete with some of last year’s racing games will be hard and it will
stay that way. Even the ten dollar nice man fee subtracted off of the total is
not enough to make this game worthy of a purchase. Test Drive Unlimited 2 is
just sort of a mess that should be kept on the streets with its crappy gameplay
mechanics. Who knows maybe a patch can save this game, but I am not going to
stay to find out. Pass on this racing game.
Gameplay: 5 out of 10
+ Fusing together two games into one title is a neat idea and
it works if you’re a Sunday driver.
- Overall the crappy driving mechanics ruin the game, to a
point where you want to cry.
Story: 5 out of 10
+ For a racing title the story is better than most.
- Even though there is a story in the game it is painful to
see it unfold.
Graphics: 7 out of 10
- The cars seem a bit too small in the game or the scenery is
- Is that damage on my car…wait no, it’s gone. Thank you
Audio: 5 out of 10
- The music doesn’t go with the game at all.
- Atari needs to get their money back on the actors doing the
Replay Value: 7 out of 10
+ Playing the game with buddies is fun and will make you
forget how bad the game is.
- Some might not want to play this game for too long and I
wouldn’t blame them.
5.80 out of 10