Lair

Publisher: Sony Computer Entertainment
Developer: Factor 5
Genre: Action
Release: August 30, 2007
Platform: Playstation 3

Reviewer: Eric

Lair is the worst Playstation 3 game I have played so far! Before I started to do this review I was going to quote exerts from the twenty eight page booklet Factor 5 gave to game reviewers, then I thought I wasn’t going to do that. There is no way in hell I want people to think there is anything good about Lair! I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT!!!

This review is going to be so hard to write because I wanted to take my controller and beat somebody to death. Oh I’m not kidding, when I was playing this game I thought my super expensive Playstation 3 controller was going to fly out of my hands and hit either my girl friend or the wall. This isn’t a joke, if you think the Wii is bad then play Lair. You have to move the Sixaxis up, down, left right, one hundred and eighty degrees and about a million other motions. WHAT THE HELL WERE THEY THINKING!?!?!

Lair can only be controlled with the Sixaxis. When you are the dragon rider you’ll be able to use the thumb sticks, even when you are walking the dragon. This isn’t bad really, using the thumb sticks for this game makes sense. Guess what you control the stupid dragon for the majority of the game so get ready because you’re in it for the long run with this piece of shit. If they let you use the thumb sticks for the entire game then I wouldn't have a problem at all, Lair would be a playable game. Just because Sony copied off Nintendo with the Sixaxis doesn't mean you have to make shitty games too. Let Nintendo bring out crappy games, Sony is known for releases some pretty sweet games. Lair...it just makes me sick when I think about it.

There are so many different motions with the controller; half the time when you want to do one action your dragon will do another. The only way to get anything done in this game is to throw fits with the controller and when your dragon finally moves the Sixaxis is on the verge of slipping out of your hands. My girlfriend left the room after awhile; she was scared the controller was going to smack her in the face. Lair should have been released on the Wii, using the Wii Mote for this game would have been so much better.

Graphics…the graphics are the best thing with Lair. Even with a standard television Lair looked great. Listening to the horrible dialogue did make me forget about the next generation, the actors they hired better have gotten paid minimum wage because they really dropped the ball here. Whenever one of your team members die I swear to God your character shows no emotion. All he does is say "NOOOO" in the simplest voice ever! If I saw somebody I know die in front of my eyes I think I'd care a little more than this guy did. So what he has enough armor on himself for a small army, whenever somebody dies you do more than say "NOOOO" it's common curtsy. I guess the people at Factor 5 have no souls, that's the only thing that can answer this.

Final Verdict
Out of my entire experience with Lair I can honestly say I found nothing too fabulous with this game. The graphics are wonderful, but with a control system that will piss you off like no end, horrible dialogue and a story that will make you laugh, Lair is the worst game out on the Playstation 3 right now. I will go as far as saying that Lair will be the worst game of the year, it was hyped so much and the game was even delayed at the last minute. Just to make things worse the goddamn tutorial doesn’t even tell you how to attack, when you are thrown into the first mission you have to figure it out before the game tells you how to do it. I’m not kidding, the programmers make you figure out how to attack first, then they’ll tell you when you beat all the stupid ships.

Rating
1 out of 10

Lair Trailer